Okay, first off – I’m not feeding granola to demons. That would just be ridiculous, right!?
I recently learned a meditation technique to feed internal demons “nectar” in order to diminish their energetically draining power, as well as unconscious control over emotional states & actions in daily life. And after an intense session this morning my physical body needed serious nourishment. Everything in me craved cereal. Instead of going to the store to buy cereal for the first time in years, I threw together a hearty granola to satisfy both my inner child craving & my Virgo health-nut standards.
But back to demons real quick.
I spent the early part of my spiritual journey with sole/soul focus on light-beings, radical positivity & all the warm fuzzy stuff. With absolute disregard for anything ugly, evil or malignant. I could feel something missing. Something dark & rooted deep within me felt unseen, stuck in a mucky shadow swirl, and ashamed of my *gasp* imperfection. I found myself projecting all my demons onto others to maintain this righteous sense of purity & innocence.
After vivid visions of demons repeatedly haunted my third eye at night, I realized – oh, these creatures of horror might be IN me. At first I tried shooing them out but they came back. Then I sort of accepted their presence but politely asked them to leave. And when they persisted, I spoke up hoping for some guidance or answers. The book “Feeding Your Demons” by Tsultrim Allione came to me profoundly like any meant-to-be-read does. My partner silently left it on our bed one night & I immediately dove in.
Allione describes a five-step meditative process of deep breath, an altruistic intention, locating tension in the body & describing the qualities of it. Then imagine the demon dwelling there, detail it & begin a dialogue with it to find out what it wants, what it needs, and how it would feel upon receiving that. Here’s where it gets really interesting – become the demon monster god to feel how it feels & answer the questions from first-demon perspective. Then feed it. Feed it nectar in the form of whatever it needs most until it reaches satisfaction & disappears. Then possibly meet an ally. Lastly, rest in this silent, satiated, whole & full blissful state as long as possible. If it sounds edgy & intense, it’s because it is! And this is just the start of it.
The first demon I worked with is that of sorrow. This vicious snake/dragon with red eyes & exposed sharp wet teeth lives in a gaping hole of tension in the back of my neck. When I became this demon I actually started growling & baring my teeth, then sobbed & sobbed. That’s when I was convinced – this shit is for real. What it wants is for me to never ever feel joy again. What it needs is to be held. It would feel safe & at ease if it were. I tried feeding it my dissolved body nectar of ease & safety but really struggled with this imagery. I ended up pouring out more heart energy than I needed to because it didn’t seem to want that at all. But when I cried into my hands & offered them out in a cupped gesture, it drank & drank my healing tears until it transformed into a cutesie, wide-eyed little snakey baby & went away. I called for an ally & immediately saw a white unicorn (but of course) who offered to help by reminding me of beauty & wonder & magic whenever I gaze deeply into water. And then I laid down & breathed & eventually went on with my day with more energy, creativity, and connectedness than I’ve felt in awhile.
No doubt this will be an ongoing practice because I have a fuckload of inner demons. Addictions. Traumas. Abuses. Masochistic issues around worth, shame, control, and so on. I actually feel excited to meet all of them face to face in a safe space & do what I do best – nourish! I’m proud to share the experiences of embodying my deepest darkness because I know if it affects anyone who reads this as much as I have been already, it might be of service & healing for all. And that’s my greatest intention.
So if you need to feed your demons too, I hope this inspires.
Or if you just want some bomb-ass granola to feed your belly, here’s the recipe at long last :
The Best Granola
Ingredients:
2 cups oats
1 cup mixed seeds/nuts (I used pumpkin, sesame, hemp seeds & crushed almonds)
1 tsp turmeric, powdered
1 tsp Ashwagandha, powdered
couple pinches sea salt
1 tsp chia seeds
1/4 cup coconut oil, melted
1/4-1/2 cup real maple syrup (depending on how sweet ya like it)
2 tsp good quality vanilla
Instructions:
– preheat oven to 333*F
– in a large bowl, mix together dry ingredients with your hands & stir in some of those good vibes (yes, love)
– combine chia seeds & wet ingredients & add that to the oat/seed mixture, stirring well with a spoon
– pour onto a cookie sheet (can be lined w/ parchment or a baking mat if so desired) and spread evenly
– bake for 20 min, or until it becomes fragrant & let it sit until cooled
– store in a glass jar / air-tight container or eat right away
Super yum served with oat mylk, bee pollen, and a spoonful of pumpkin seed butter!
Makes for a sweet golden milk delight at the end.
Which is why it’s the best.
Enjoy!
“Cursed is the one who divides himself into dark & light and holds the light for himself yet says to the dark ‘I know thee not! Where did you come from?’ Such a one is deluded & has created a demon for himself. That demon will then gather other demons to himself & beset that man with many tortures. Own therefore the darkness in you, for it is your very own creation & is part of you. Make the dark like the light & the light like the dark & you will be a Holy Spirit.” – Jesus the Christ
Wild Altar 